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Dating in Your 60s: Is it for You?

 

Dating in Your 60s: Is it for You?

Posted by Jean Pollack in Coaching, Relationship Coaching, Relationship Counseling 01 Aug 2018

Are you in your 60s and contemplating dating? More and more couples are separating, divorcing, or widowed  in their 60s. Many want to find happiness during their last segment of life.

I’ve interviewed many people in their 60s to learn what they believe are the pros and cons of dating at their age. Some of the people I interviewed are widowed, others divorced while others were never married. Some say they would like to continue dating into their 60s or even 70s.

What Do Women in their 60s Say?

One woman I interviewed had just turned 60 and is a fairly new widow dating a few men. She’s enjoying dating because she likes meeting a lot of people and having new experiences. She shared that traditional relationships can become boring and mundane. Online dating is more exciting.

She also explained that for herself, males were a mystery in her early years. She was less comfortable in her skin but now later in life she is more comfortable and enjoys the company of men who seem to be enjoying her as well. The cons for her are that even though everyone hopes people portray themselves honestly online, some people do misrepresent themselves which is both disappointing and time consuming.

Other divorced women told me that they are happy being single. They are enjoying their freedom to live on their own terms without having to take care of a man. They enjoy their friendships and travel. As they age, they realize that there are lonely times, but their freedom allows them a lifestyle of flexibility and personal choice.

What Do Men in their 60s Say?

Many of the men I interviewed shared that they are lonely or want to find a travel partner.

A man who has been active on an over 60 website for the past few years shared, “This isn’t just a phenomena. People our age and younger are going through life with more than one life partner. Even younger people don’t seem to be as focused on marriage as the goal, but to enjoy your relationship with another while supporting and growing within the relationship.”

Another interesting aspect of dating in your 60s is that many older people enjoy their routine and are somewhat set in their ways. They like to visit their children and/or grandchildren as well as maintain friendships, their health routine and financial health so they desire dating but without actual remarriage and full blending of lives.

The bottom line is connection. A sense of love and belonging is a need in all humans. We are starting to see that there are many ways to feed ourselves with love and belonging either within a committed relationship, or through dating, by joining social groups, engaging with one’s children and/or grandchildren, friends, and/or causes.

According to Brene Brown who specializes in social connection, “A deep sense of love and belonging is an irresistible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong.”

As psychologists from Maslow to Baumeister have repeatedly stressed, a sense of social connection is one of our most fundamental human needs.

People in their 60s are setting the pace for a new way of living life against the norms, as many of them did back in the 60s when traditional and cultural norms were being questioned. This dating movement is both about self expression and fulfillment as well as an opportunity to connect with others who can bring even more love and joy into your life.

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